If You Ask Me / By Martha Knight

Peace on earth, good will toward humans. A holiday that brings caring impulses to the fore is something to be welcomed and celebrated, by the religious and by those who aren’t.

I remember a Christmas years ago, when my place was the “safe house” where people in flight from domestic conflict could take shelter. Usually this was a temporary situation, while we arranged for protection orders, needed services and longer-term housing, or sometimes just long enough to get the people in flight further into the “system” and into a location out of the danger area.

There were situations in which it was reasonably safe to keep the kids in the local school system, disrupting their lives as little as possible. It was tricky to keep the location of the safe house secret. Inevitably the cover was blown, and the safe house wasn’t safe anymore. But while it was operating, sometimes people came into shelter in the holiday season.

This was before there was state or county funding for programs that provided help for victims of domestic violence. The only organization even advocating for those services in this area was the Four County Rural Task Force for Women

One December there was a sheltered family consisting of a mother, two girls in high school, one boy in junior high and one girl in elementary school.

They did get some emergency assistance through a county agency. A man who met the family in church took the mom shopping, and helped with some garden produce. We ate out of our pantry and freezer. We celebrated the birthday of one of the girls. All in all we were getting by, and it looked as if the family would have housing sometime in January.

We put up some decorations, found the four-foot put-together tree in the attic, played Christmas music, made cookies. But there didn’t seem to be much point in hanging up stockings.

Then two area families, friends of each other and acquainted with me, put their heads together, and decided on the “cause” they wanted to help, privately, that Christmas. They sent me a check in the mail, with a note saying they wanted to help us celebrate Christmas at the safe house.

Everyone in the sheltered family received something to enjoy. Another family had an extra turkey “from the plant.” The family was not in their own home, but they were cheerful about their situation. The boy, who had autism, said he liked Christmas more “because nobody is yelling or hitting.”

Other families who have experienced some disruption, sometimes violence or loss of a home, used to be helped by what was the Children and Youth Services Advisory Council. This was a group appointed by the county commissioners as a lay board to interact with CYS in the development of its annual plan, and overview responsibilities.

One year the advisory board rolled up its sleeves and investigated the foster family program from top to bottom, which then underwent an overdue reorganization. The board also helped get CYS back on track when it had lost its accreditation and reimbursement.

But the advisory group also had its annual “benevolence” project. Members from here were the pastors of the Free Methodist Church, their across-Smith Ave. neighbor Carolyn Carlson (a trained social worker, after all!), and your scribe. I had a computer and a printer, so I sent out begging letters, signed by chairman Chris Hill, to individuals and organizations and businesses all over the county.

We solicited funds to provide some new clothing items and some toys or fun stuff for every child whose family was being assisted “in the home,” or without children being in placement.

We were provided with lists of genders and ages and sizes and preferred styles and colors, and sometimes specific needs.

We shopped like mad, long days in Port and in Olean and Bradford, then had several long wrapping bees, somehow keeping all the presents grouped by each “number” assigned to an individual.

By December 20, carloads of presents were delivered to CYS offices on the top level of the Court House. Staff members delivered each household’s presents, preserving “confidentiality.” It would have been great to get a photo of some children opening their presents, and to have such photos to help with fundraising, right? But it would not have been appropriate.

When PACS had a clothing bank, and we had more stores downtown, some people sponsored gift certificates at Christmas time.

We hear it said, “Christmas is for children.” I don’t agree. It’s a time to ease the struggles and even the loneliness of others, as well as celebrate the good times. Good times can be few and far between for some members of our community who face health challenges, no longer drive, have lost a mate.

A friend I think of as “a good guy,” one who reaches out to help others, called the other day to enquire about an individual he knows receives Meals on Wheels. He wondered how much she might “owe” for the “contribution” consumers pay ($2 per meal must be paid by the local program, with the state covering the rest of the actual cost).

Bless his heart. He said he would leave some cash at the Senior Center in an envelope stating it was for that lady’s Meals on Wheels.

Anyone wanting to help a friend on Meals on Wheels can do so that easily! Don’t know anyone using the program right now? There are people who need and receive the meals, but struggle to make the consumer contribution. If we have many who can’t, the program will not be able to keep operating. A contribution to the program can be left with Angie at the Center, or mailed to Meals on Wheels care of the Center.

There are needs all around us. It is heartwarming to see that there are community members who care, both groups and individuals. Best of all, some kindness is continued all through the year.

Keep those cards and letters coming! Have a wonderful Christmas!

Peace.