If You Ask Me / By Martha Knight

Smiling Joe, I have called him. He does look friendly and agreeable whenever I see him, on the job and in public.

He looked cheerful in DeMott’s Pharmacy when I was a customer, often buying over-the-counter meds for my allergies and receiving his instructions concerning use. He looked cheerful at Borough Council meetings, when he was mayor (and probably when he was a council member, although I don’t think I covered that part of local government then).

And DeMott has been unfailingly courteous, and appeared unfazed, and generally accepting and friendly, no matter what, at the meetings of the McKean County Commissioners.

There was the time a woman decided to denounce the Commissioners in person, and attended a meeting for that purpose. She sat at the end of the table, facing the commissioners, and read through a lengthy harangue she had prepared, all about how she (and others) had been maltreated and their health neglected while they were incarcerated at the McKean County Jail (she claimed), and her husband was a pretty bad individual but hadn’t been treated very well either (she said), and the commissioners were responsible at least in part for a list of calamities she and other had experienced. And she was suing them for big bucks, so there.

At least once in this jeremiad she interrupted herself to accuse DeMott of laughing. Seated a few feet from him, I knew he was not even snickering, although I was having a hard time keeping a straight face at some of the more outrageous remarks. No, Joe was just wearing his basic approachable, accepting and cheerful expression, similar to the one he wore when asking a drugstore customer, “What can I do for you?”

Prior to that occasion I used to entertain at least a fancy that sometimes Joe would get home after a long day of being absolutely genial with everyone he encountered, and would shut the door and close the blinds and drapes and just roar, and stomp around, for about five minutes. I discarded that fancy.  By smiling slightly, and politely, through that whole tirade, Joe had proven that he really was able to accept people, when they were at their best and at other times too, without wavering in his own beliefs or changing his demeanor.

Just once I can think of, he did show his, um, concern. When he was our mayor, and when the Borough Council seemed about to turn thumbs down on a downtown revitalization project, yummy grant funds and all, Joe just about came across the table at the ditherers and naysayers. He was not smiling; he was very serious. This seemed to jar them back to reality, and they became Yes-sayers.

Almost 30 years, That’s a lot of public service, from Joe, so far. Remember, he has two more years and some months left, in this term.

After he retires and while he and Sue are enjoying their travels, I believe something similar to a special phenomenon Lewis Carrol described in an Alice book will be discernible here. When the Cheshire cat would disappear, its smile could still be seen.

•    •    •

It’s an addiction.

Nicotine is an addictive substance. Inhaled, swallowed in a pill, absorbed through tongue or inside cheek or lip, or snorted as snuff, it hooks people.

It’s not just a habit. Tobacco/nicotine users are addicts. I remember a teacher and coach who called me, years ago, because “You called me a criminal,” referring to a column in which I had called tobacco users addicts. (J didn’t name names.)

In point of fact, nicotine, though legal for adult use, is one of the most addictive substances available legally or illegally. As a user who had ceased using, I was grabbed by nicotine again, twice, after one or two cigarettes. Hooked again, just like that—the last time, while I was in a solarium in Roswell Park Memorial Institute (as it was called then) waiting for hours for my dad to be back from surgery. Talk about dumb! Of all places to slip back into that “I can just smoke one, once in a while” denial!

Another common denial notion is that abusing a substance is nobody’s business but the substance abuser. If you chew, there’s no sidestream smoke, and maybe the spitting is reasonably discreet. So what if a person uses a little weed once in a while?

Well, some of the “am I an addict?” quiz questions are, “Do I use the substance when it can interfere with my work?” and “Does my use harm or threaten my relationships or cause me not to live up to important responsibilities?” and “Does my use cause me to break promises?” and “Do I have to conceal my use from others?”

Let’s apply those questions to a situation in which an athlete violates training rules or student behavior rules, and is caught.

Knowing of the consequences of using, and with so much at risk, this juvenile can’t seem to get through a whole school day or the event in question without some nicotine? Does it have such a hold on him as that?

Enough to break a pledge and an important rule applicable to all students, and to risk being out of action for practice and important games, and to let teammates and coaches and the student body down?

What else would be at risk? A letter? All sorts of cumulatives, such as total yards or carries or passes? 

How the student is seen by colleges? Detention, suspension? Has the drug become more important than all such considerations?

Similar consequences should apply, and disciplinary measures be applied, for singers or instrumentalists (even soloists), cast member in a drama (even lead roles), or whatever co-curricular activity a student needs to remain eligible for. And there should be a referral to the Student Assistance Program.

Sad to see any “nice kid” in a situation where the boom has to be lowered, even temporarily. Sadder still if he or she were to be allowed to let the addiction process continue. The consequences of abusing nicotine are way too serious for that.

Peace.